


Grocery Run

by InkgooSupernova



Series: The Winter System [36]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Bucky Barnes has DID - Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Domestic Fluff, Ficlet, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, On the Run, Other, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25231030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkgooSupernova/pseuds/InkgooSupernova
Summary: He couldn't believe he was arguing with a voice in his head, especially over something so trivial and unnecessary that heknewhe didn't need.Then again, he still had that Bucky Bear in his pack that always managed to find its way into his bed while he slept. He could always hear his whimpers, no matter how far away the toy was.He was going insane.
Series: The Winter System [36]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1693231
Comments: 12
Kudos: 102





	Grocery Run

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on personal experiences.

" _Can I ha'f those gummies?_ "

Bucky nearly jumped out of his skin as the voice caught him off guard. He twisted his body around to look for the source.

The aisle was empty, save for the rows of food items.

"What the..." Bucky mumbled to no one in particular, tightening his grip on his basket. Once he was _sure_ he was alone, he turned back to focus on the items before him.

He had been on the run from Hydra for about a year to the date. He was currently hiding out in a small town somewhere in Florida. The air was surprisingly cool, so he wasn't exactly out of place wearing a heavy leather jacket, and no one would expect the Winter Soldier to hide out in such a non-frigid climate. He had made his way to a chain supermarket in order to stock up on supplies before his next bus ride to Who Knows Where.

He hadn't even noticed the box of brightly colored fruit snacks on the shelf.

" _Pl'ees?_ " The Voice, high-pitched and lisped, persisted. He swore he heard that voice from somewhere, but he couldn't place _where_. All he knew is there was a child's voice inside his head begging for fruit snacks.

"No. Too much bulk, can't waste space in the pack." Bucky huffed to the mystery voice. He couldn't believe he was arguing with a voice in his head, especially over something so trivial and unnecessary that he _knew_ he didn't need.

Then again, he still had that Bucky Bear in his pack that always managed to find its way into his bed while he slept. He could always hear his whimpers, no matter how far away the toy was.

He was going insane.

" _Can take them out of th' box, not too much space. Pl'eeeeeeeees?_ " The Voice all but whined, and he suddenly recognized where he had heard the voice from.

Snowflake. Pierce's sick 'pedophilia with extra steps' game.

Why the hell hadn't that part of his brain gone away?

Shoving down the sudden spike of anxiety in his chest, Bucky growled and began walking away from the items. He didn't need to feed into the sick part of his brain that craved his 'Daddy's love'. He foolishly took one final glance at the box of fruit snacks.

And immediately froze dead in his tracks.

The box was blue and grey, with illustrations of three people on the front. One was a man in a metallic red and yellow mask, one was a woman with long red hair, and one was a man in a blue cowl with an 'A' imprinted on the front.

The Captain. Steve Rogers. _His Steve_.

Bucky quickly swiped up the box, studying the illustrations. The fruit snacks were designed to resemble the Avengers, all in varying colors to indicate which flavor was which. It was a common practice to sell items marketed towards children by designing them with a licensed character or brand that they could easily recognize.

Steve was a hero. Children looked up to him.

" _Daddy!_ " The Voice gasped at the sight, causing Bucky's blood to boil. How _dare_ that disgusting part of his brain compare his Steve to that _monster?_ Steve only ever tried to help people, even if it put him at risk.

Bucky could feel his fried synapses firing, producing images of a scrappy kid with a mop of blond hair, his face bruised and bloodied, with a toothy smile bright enough to light up all of New York. His heart melted in his chest at the thought.

He found that he couldn't put the box down, no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that it wasn't worth it. Not with Steve staring back at him from the cardboard.

"...Fine." Bucky huffed, tossing the box into his basket. A rusty, misused voice from somewhere in the back of his skull pointed out that purchasing some 'human food' would make him look less suspicious. It was a win-win.

The box of fruit snacks he could chock up to his brain wanting to be with Steve again. He could not, however, justify the same reaction to a package of frosted animal crackers.

" _Pl'ees?_ " The Child Voice whined as he stared at the brightly colored package.

"No. You already have a snack. Now quit." Bucky bit out, glancing around the aisle to ensure that he was unheard.

" _If you purchase more human food, there is a less likely chance of drawing any sort of attention to your purchase history._ " The Rusted Voice stated matter-of-factly. Bucky growled in response, shoving the package of cookies into his basket.

"Now no more snacks. These are all empty calories as it is." Bucky huffed under his breath. He made his way out of the aisle, ignoring the continuous begging for every box of cookies he passed from the Child Voice.

He hadn't noticed the can of tuna in his basket. He didn't even know he passed any tuna on the shelves.

"What the _fuck?_ " Bucky groaned, picking up the mysterious can. "Who put this here?"

" _Nonperishable. Protein._ " The Rusted Voice explained. Bucky groaned louder in annoyance.

"No more asking for random shit. This isn't a grocery run-" Bucky was cut off by an all too familiar whimper.

His eyes caught the bottle of honey resting on the shelf, the amber liquid encased in bear-shaped plastic, complete with painted on facial features.

"...You want something too, Winnie bear?" Bucky sighed. The Plush voice squeaked in response, nodding his head for him. He hung his head in defeat, already placing the bottle into his basket, earning a delighted squeal from the plush bear that was currently nestled inside his backpack.

He was going _insane._

Thankfully, Bucky managed to find his way to the cash register without any more unnecessary items. He paid with cash, took the items, and started his walk back towards his hiding hole.

" _'M hungry._ " The Child Voice piped up as he passed a chain fast-food restaurant.

"No. We literally just bought food." Bucky huffed back, shaking the plastic bags in his hand for emphasis.

" _We need to keep up physical strength. Nutrients is required._ " The Rusted Voice agreed.

"You're seriously gonna agree with the four-year-old?" Bucky huffed, mostly joking. Though, the more he thought, the more he realized that that _wasn't_ a joke.

He felt himself turn on his heel and make his way into the establishment, all without really meaning to. He felt as if he wasn't in control of his body anymore.

Bucky couldn't remember walking into the restaurant, nor ordering any food, nor _eating_ any food. All he knew is that he was currently holding a receipt for thirty dollars worth of food and feeling more full than he had in his entire time in Hydra.

"Happy?" Bucky huffed, crumpling up the receipt and shoving it in his pocket before shoving the discarded wrappers into a nearby trash bin on his way out. He wasn't a monster, he always left anywhere he went as clean as he found it.

" _Thank'y'u!_ " The Child Voice chirped. Bucky rolled his eyes as he continued his way back to his hideout.

That was, until he noticed the armored black van parked just outside of the motel door.

"Shit." Bucky growled, immediately turning tail before he could be noticed by anyone in the vicinity.

Thank fuck he already had his stuff on him.

He couldn't remember finding a bus stop, nor getting onto a bus, nor how long he had been on said bus for that matter. All he knew was that he was sitting in a bus in the middle of the night and cradling a stuffed bear to his chest like a maniac.

_He was going insane._

Bucky made his way off the bus and into the drizzly night, taking note of a sign that read 'Welcome To Mississippi'. He sighed at the sight before clutching his backpack straps and walking into the unknown, his scraps of sanity in tow.

**Author's Note:**

> Any behaviors related to DID or Autism Spectrum Neurodivergency within this story are based on **personal experiences** and are not a scientific basis or professional explanation for either DID systems or Autism Spectrum Neurodivergency. No two people, let alone no two systems, are exactly the same.
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


End file.
